Mine Eyes Have Seen the… Glory?

Sorry there hasn’t been much going on in the way of posting. I’m working on something with a friend that involves Photoshop and, well, me and Photoshop have not exactly become good friends yet. But I’m learning how to use it, which is something I never thought I’d get around to.

Anyway, on to another review.

The EyeThursday I decided to sit down and watch The Eye because I like a good scary movie and I’d never seen it before. The premise: A blind woman gets a corneal transplant and is thus able to see for the first time since she lost her sight when she was five years old. It’s not quite the dream she thought it would be, however. Adjusting to all the extra input from her eyes would have been bad enough, but she’s also seeing things that aren’t there, which causes her to do crazy things.

As terrible as I am with storylines and as tolerant as I am of just about anything, I was not impressed. Jessica Alba is Sydney Wells, a blind classical violinist with the chance to regain her sight. First of all, Jessica Alba is not my cup of tea. I honestly don’t know why, but I could care less about the characters she plays. Maybe I’d know why if I went to film school. But that won’t happen and, in any case, she’s uninteresting.

Secondly, I just didn’t find myself caring about anything that went on. The other characters bored me to tears, and, to be perfectly frank, came off as very unforgiving. The only person in the whole movie to believe Sydney could see things was a woman we see for a total of about a minute on an elevator and has one line in the whole movie. One. Everybody else who knew Sydney before she went under the knife – knew that she was level-headed, had a good job, a decent social life, had never gone off her rocker – assumed that she was crazy right after a fairly minor surgery. The closest the surgical team got to her brain was putting new corneas in her eyes. As a medic with a good sense of anatomy I can confidently assure you that a corneal transplant does not involve the brain in any way, shape, or form. Yes, it was perfectly normal for them to think she was cuckoo at first, but you’d think that at least one person she knew would sit down and listen to her after a few days of the same thing. Not just some random person in an elevator.

The ending felt anti-climactic. And, let’s be honest here, if there are major explosions going on and the only thing between you and those explosions is a station wagon that is most certainly not equipped with ballistic glass windows are you seriously going to stare through those windows at the approaching wave of destruction? Yeah, me neither. But then, I’d like to think I’m smarter than a box of hammers.

I’ve read through the description of both the original Hong Kong version and this American remake and while the plot sounds almost exactly the same I think I’d rather have seen the Hong Kong version. Anyway, the Asian film remakes are feeling tired. When The Ring came out I was scared. The Grudge was also very good (sleeping in a Japanese futon in a Japanese house was a bit frightening after watching that movie, I’m not going to lie). But, like Dark Water (a movie I desperately wanted to like but just thought was so-so), The Eye doesn’t pull it off.

I know, this review seems short, but I can’t bring myself to write much more about it. Really, I’m that bored with this movie. Plus I have a stack of The X-Files comics and I’m in the middle of my fourth watch-through of Psych (an infinitely better way to spend my time than thinking about The Eye).

Verdict: C D*. I’d say if you’re looking for a storyline that involves a woman who sees things, ghosts from the past, and a creepy atmosphere, rent The Return. It was by far a much more interesting movie and Sarah Michelle Prinz (formerly Gellar) is a much more interesting actress. As a matter of fact, if you want to watch an American version of an Asian film that at least has a decent scare factor, go rent The Grudge. Or The Ring. Or just go rent the actual Asian film (Ringu for The Ring and Ju-on for The Grudge); if you don’t have Netflix, Blockbuster should have both.

*My previous rating bothered me and so I realized I just wouldn’t be able to get away from this movie until I gave it a more proper rating.

Leave a comment

No comments yet.

Comments RSS TrackBack Identifier URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s